Behavior in the Beginning = Behavior Throughout

In a post from last year I discuss boundaries that I recommend be set as early as possible:

After you have successfully entered the relationship you need to create solid boundaries and talk to her about them.  Write a list of boundaries (things that you will not put with.)

My list looks like this:

  • Lying to me
  • Cheating
  • Treating me with disrespect
  • Playing head games

Once your girlfriend knows exactly what you do not put up with in a relationship is when you have a successful foundation to your relationship.

These boundaries are not of the controlling nature (tell her that), because a controlling boyfriend is very unattractive. She must know that she is free to cross them and trust me she will at one point in time in the relationship.  Women love to test us men.  Women are programmed to naturally want a man that will be a good father, because of animal instincts.  People neglect to realize that just because we have a large cerebral cortex compared to other animals does not mean that we are not animals too.  Society will always run in an instinctual way.  When women are looking for a husband they are looking for a man with dexterity.   In order for a man to be a good father he must be emotionally intact, and this is why it is not their fault.  You must guard these boundaries with punishments (read the punishment section).  Women want a man with strong boundaries, if you let her cross them freely she will lose respect for you and ultimately end up breaking up with you.  Head my warning.  Don’t be a B***CH.

Bouncing off of boundaries – We are going to talk about how to act during the very beginning of the relationship.

It is incredibly important that you do not hide how you really are in public and behind closed doors.  It is necessary to act in your own way, and be comfortable with who you are as a person.  People commonly make this mistake.

For Example:  I meet this gorgeous girl, and I end up getting her number.  We continue to date for a period of time, and then I decide it is time I ask her if she wants a relationship with me.  From this moment on I decide to be the best boyfriend ever, and take her out to dinner at least once a week even though I can not afford to.  Two months pass by and I am running out of cash.  We end up not going out to dinner this weekend, but when I try to explain to my girlfriend that I can’t afford it she gets angry.  She is used to being courted and dressing up for me.  Next weekend the same occurs, and she starts equating this behavior as her own fault.  Problems will arise.

In this scenario I made a couple of big mistakes that insure that (1) This girl will eventually break up with me (2)  That I will be heart-broken and ultimately struggle with the balance of my life for some time period(t).  This type of meeting happens every day, and men are continuously being put down.  The funny part to all of this is that it is no ones’ fault except for the person who allowed this women to tear them down and put their life on hold.  You are in control of what happens to you, and the future that you will have.  Furthermore,  do not EVER “decide” to be a good boyfriend.  It will cause you to think and act in ways that appear needy and unattractive.  Instead, you must view yourself as a man with confidence, but do not fake confidence.  Women can sense it a mile away.  If you are a man that is having trouble getting women, the “How to get your Ex-Girlfriend Back” teaches you exactly how to behave to increase your confidence and gives you the ability to attract women.

 

Next week we are going to talk about a book called “The art of Seduction” and a few key points I would like to center on.  Stay tuned.

 

-Aidan

Advertisements

Cheating…Cheater and Cheatee Guide

English: Woman, broken heart.

English: Woman, broken heart. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

 

First, before we get to the “how-to get out of trouble” lesson I want you to ask yourself.  If your going to be in a relationship then be in a relationship.  If your going to mess around while your with someone you could end up really hurting them.  Not only that but now you get the reputation as a player and a cheater.  Once your flagged consider yourself dateless for quite some time.  It is a very very good idea to not cheat plain and simple.

 

You cheated on your girlfriend

–  Sometimes your drunk and you make-out with a girl.  This is not that terrible although it is still cheating.  Furthermore, alcohol is NO EXCUSE to cheat on anyone.

– If any of my viewers have ever noticed… when a guy tells a girl he cheated they usually want to know if he has feelings for this new girl.  However if a guy gets cheated on they usually want to know what they did sexually…

Step one:  Amplify her feelings

Tell her straight up that you messed up and had no intention of hurting her.  Tell her that you have absolutely no feelings for this girl and even go as far to say cheating made me realize what I had and I really do not want to lose you.  Trust me these work.  Your going to be annoyed for the next couple of months (depending on the severity of the adultery) by her because women, unfortunately, take time to get over things.  Give her as long as she needs and you better be there for her every time.  Do not be selfish.. put yourself in her shoes.  What if you got cheated on ?

Your Girlfriend Cheated On You

I know this is probably not going to brighten your day but you absolutely need to break-up with her immediately.  This is one of my personal boundaries.  You need to think of cheating as a way to filter out girls that are not for you.  You deserve better than a cheating chick..

Story:

My high-school sweet-heart made me regret ever taking back someone who cheated on you.  I loved her so much that I didn’t want to lose her.  I just forgave her and basically sent the message that it was okay for her to do what she did.  She ended up breaking up with me anyway because saying that the reason she cheated was because of me.  I was crushed.  I learned my lesson that day.

 

You see women cheat because they become un-attracted to you.  When they see you crying all the time when you took them back after they cheated they become even more un-attracted to you.  By breaking up with them it sets up a much better scenario for you and puts you in control.  You can play hard to get so badly that she turns into your personal slave…  but remember you have to act cool calm and collective.  If you ignore her she will probably make fun of you for being immature.  You need to resist this, it might piss you off but you must send the message that you will not be talked to like that.

 

So remember boys DO NOT CHEAT.  It’s not worth it.

-Aidan

 

 

 

How To Get Your Ex-girlfriend Back P2

Trust me When I Say:  It is good to let it out.  Mature Masculine Men know when to cry, when to laugh, and when to love.  Talk to a friend, or listen to music that speaks to you.  This song speaks to me… Your not alone, I promise. 

Hello, welcome to relationshiphelpformen.com.  Today we are going to go a little more in depth on the topic of  “How To Get Your Ex-girlfriend Back”, a topic that I consider to be my expertise.  Getting your ex-girlfriend back, however, is not the only thing I am concerned with.  One of the attributes I want you to gain and take advantage of during this break-up period is the feeling of what it is like to be independent.  If you learn to be strong over this period there will be no break-up in the future that will “bring you down”.  Of course there will always be sadness in any break-ups you have had; learning how to be independent  will give you resilience.  Your life will not completely shut down, just because of a broken heart (much like a lot of people). This has personally been one of the hardest times in my life.  When I was in 10th grade I met the most beautiful girl and immediately fell for her.  We ended up dating all the way until my senior year(she left me for someone else).  I was crushed.  During high school I was a little bit weird.  I played trombone (concert, jazz), played in football, wrestling, and track, and was a 4.0 student.  My senior year was the worst year of my entire life.  I prayed everyday for graduation because I couldn’t focus anymore.  I went from being 12th in my class to 25th… my grades suffered, I quit every sport.  It was terrible.  However, I took advantage of this experience and learned how to be stronger.  After high school I attended Lehigh University and was back to the me I remembered.  [Moral of the Story]As you can see break-ups can destroy people’s lives IF THEY LET THAT HAPPEN.

Today I am going to go a little more in depth on the first part of the break-up: what to do first, how to deal with it.  You see, immediately after the break-up you have begun to “get her back”.  This is all about how you behave boys.  Remember women want a mentally strong man to take care of their animal instinct issues.  If she breaks up with you hard (you know what I mean) cut off all contact.

Remove her from every social networking site, email, instant messaging, skype… anything.  Only exception is facebook.  If she blocks you that’s fine too.. trust me she is going to be looking at your facebook.

Write her number down somewhere and completely forget about it.  Then delete her number from your phone.  If you have memorized this number that is okay, still delete her number from your phone.

You MUST RESIST the urge to call her, text her, go to her work, anything.  You absolutely must follow the “No Contact” Rule.  I recommend to most people that all they have to do is follow this rule and usually I’m right!   By not contacting her you are showing her that you are okay with the break-up.  You are making her think “Well maybe he got a new girl”  (This could take up to 3 weeks of no contact).  Once she reaches this point of jealous thinking she will begin to feel lonely.  She will want to talk to you in the worst way.  This is when she will likely look at your facebook because she is wondering what your doing without her.  Women actually believe (and want) that you should be crying for days, they want you to be miserable as sad as it is.  When your not showing that your upset, and express that your moving on just fine from the break-up they usually feel a rush of attraction towards you again.  Which is why she broke-up with you to begin with.  Other reasons she might break-up with you : cheating, controlling behavior, yelling at her which we will talk about later.

Now, what NOT to do with your facebook account in a nut shell.

– Don’t be a prick

–  Do not purposely come up with these status’s about how many girls your with, partying, how many girls your banging.  We just want to make her jealous, not extremely pissed that your having sex with millions of girls.

–  Now it is completely appropriate and required of you to flirt with other women.  Flirt in real life, and on facebook.  It will boost your self-confidence.  Just act friendly, do not blatantly act like your TRYING to make your ex jealous.  Just act as if she is a friend.

–  NO SAD STATUS’S.. PERIOD

–  You need to appear that you are okay.  To do this you just post status’s of you having normal fun (not so much partying, or having sex, or doing drugs).  A good way to make her jealous is to go out to breakfast with 3 girls and one other dude.  Post who your with and where your going and your SOLID.  Your implying them as friends so when she eventually calls you and asks what you were doing you just say “they are just friends”.  She doesn’t control you, you can do whatever the heck you want to.

The Next step is previously listed in the How To Get Your Ex Back category.  Follow this guide http://relationshiphelpformen.com/2012/05/25/how-to-get-your-ex-girlfriend-back/

What If She Does Not Contact You? 

This is not very common but if you have to contact your girlfriend first here is what you have to do.

Step 1:  Call her, Write her a letter, contact her.

Step 2: After you have reached her, just act cool, calm, and completely okay with the break-up.  I think you should even go as far as to tell her that.  “I think this break-up was for the best, but I don’t want to lose you as a friend.  We used to be good friends, and I want to remain on good terms with you.”  You don’t have to say this exactly but you get the idea.

Step 3:  If you talked to her in a friendly manner and no sexual intentions were implied then you can now successfully swoop in under her scope as a “friend”.

The Finish Line. 

Now after you have followed http://relationshiphelpformen.com/2012/05/25/how-to-get-your-ex-girlfriend-back/ you can just be chill.  Remain cool, calm , and collective at all times.  Let her do all the work.. let her chase you.  Your in control now.  If she doesn’t call you be patient.  Women don’t want to seem desperate by calling you back the next day.. Everything should be okay if you have followed the rules and steps I have outlined.   Good luck to you, I know you can do it.  Remember You Are A Dominant Man.. make her feel like a women.

 

– Aidan

 

 

The Reason Relationships End..

Why do relationships end?  “Love, with time, turns ugly”.  This quote has been used for centuries, however, it is not true.  Love will always be beautiful, it is the people who turn their relations with each other into hatred.  In my eyes there is no need for this hatred; even I have had my breakups but even now today I remain friends with all of my ex’s because there is no need to carry hatred in your heart.  [This comes from a great article http://www.marcandangel.com/2011/12/11/30-things-to-stop-doing-to-yourself/].  So why does something so beautiful at first have to have an end?

We live in a world where change is coming everyday.  For the first time in centuries women have the right to vote, women have the right to abort their pregnancies, women have the right to take birth control, and women are now a strong part of the workforce.  You see as time goes on, women are starting to become more masculine while men are becoming more feminine which is causing most of the break-ups in this world today.

Introducing: Male and Female Polarity (The relative orientation of poles; the direction of a magnetic or electric field) aka The Key To Lasting Attraction

The definition above maybe unclear to some.  It basically means the attraction of males and females.  As I have said before women will always be attracted to a masculine man because that trait makes women feel feminine.  The more you make her feel feminine the stronger the attraction for you will grow.

So to answer the question above: Why do most relationships end?

[For those who have dealt with being broken up with]

  • Were you acting more and more submissive in arguments?
  • Did you feel that your girlfriend had dominance over you by the way she behaved?
  • Did your girlfriend have a leash on you?
  • Did you feel controlled by your girlfriend at the time?

If you answer is yes to any of these questions you are probably realizing why you were broken up with.  Your women began to feel masculine because of the control over you that she had.  As a result, you began to feel feminine!  This opposition absolutely killed the attraction levels your girlfriend at the time had for you and thus, the relationship ended.

To avoid this, the man must assume the role he was born into.  He must be the dominant leader and by default the woman assumes the role of a follower; ultimately making her feel feminine.  There is no controlling behavior you must extend to force her into this position you simply must act as a mature, masculine man and she will automatically fall into place.  In the world we live in, masculine men are a dying breed and I’m here to repopulate the planet (:

If you have any questions or want to ask me specifically what went wrong with your previous relationship feel free to comment with your personal email and i will gladly email you (and delete your comment so you do not compromise your privacy).

Thanks for Reading!

– Aidan

Rules for arguing with women

Question to all bloggers and viewers… have you personally, as a man, ever won an argument with a women?

If your answer is yes, your lying your ass off.  Come on now.  When is the last time you have ever heard of a man winning an argument with his women?  Almost Never!  One of the main reasons is because when men argue their heart rate builds, veins pop out, and they go ballistic on their girl making it so easy for their women to make you look terrible.  An attractive trait; self control.  Having control over your emotions is key when battling with women.  Which brings me to rule number one.

Yes, it is literally that simple.  Raising your voice, throwing shit, breaking shit is a no no.  It will only show that you have no self control and ultimately give her the avenue to make you look terrible.  If it is something stupid; treat it as something stupid.  Look at her with a crazy stare like “is she really babbling about this?”(pretend she is a quacking duck or another funny face).  If it is something really really really stupid: Tell her you find her unattractive at the moment, because she is babbling about the silliest thing.  She will likely stop acting crazy because women are all about self-appearance (hair, make-up, etc.).  Telling her that her behavior is unattractive to you will shut her down speechless, however, if there is really something bothering her then let her vent.  But make sure it is known that you want to conduct this talk in a mature manner with no crazy yelling or things along the like involved.

  • Rule #2 If you lose your self-control SHE AUTOMATICALLY WINS

You absolutely need to control your emotions when dealing with women.  Act cool and calm at all times.  Women are emotional creatures and have  a much easier time arguing in a heightened stance (when the shit hits the fan).

  • Rule #3 Be open minded

If your girlfriend (or any women for that matter) has a really good point, do not deny or act stubborn just because you do not want to be wrong.  Be a man and admit your faults, it takes a true person to admit when they are wrong and ultimately shows character.

  • Rule #4 Focus on her emotions when arguing                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                           Emphasize her emotions, the way she is feeling.  Men naturally want to fix the situation because face it that’s how we are.  We see a problem, fix it.  WRONG (with dealing women anyway).  Say something like “I totally understand why your feeling that way” and continue from there.  You barely have to fix anything!  Just talk about how she is feeling at the moment.

– Aidan

***next topic: how to apologize while being a self respectable man***

Women DO NOT want a little puppy to take care of.

Today we are going to talk about a two things: Approval seeking behaviors and putting your girlfriend high up there (on a pedestal)

  • Approval seeking

Constantly asking your girlfriend if this is okay, or if that is okay is a big no no.  You are a man with your own problems and should be able to take care of your own conflicts.  One of the most attractive traits of a masculine man is to be Self-assured.  To be self-assured is to not compromise your own opinions to fit in.  Believe in the power of your own opinions and protect them.  Being externally validation savvy is a big red flag to women.  It shows them that you have low self esteem (confidence).  Women want a man who is self-reliant, once again going back to the animal instinct: women are attracted to a man who would be a good care-giver for their child (they do not consciously think this, however, this is what they are attracted to).

Image

  • Putting your girlfriend high up there (on a pedestal)

Women want a man with his own needs, his own responsibilities besides them.  If you put your girlfriend ahead of your needs she will lose respect for you and ultimately break up with you because of loss of attraction.  You want to show your girlfriend that you have shit to get done too.  You really like her, however, being in a relationship does not mean losing touch with the world (friends, jobs, responsibilities).   Furthermore, putting your girlfriend on a pedestal will make you become to emotionally involved, and eventually when she brings down the hammer you will be crushed.  Not putting your girlfriend on a pedestal protects you from being extremely broken heart-ed to the point where your life gets put on hold.

-Aidan

***next topic is arguing, learning what to do and what not to do.***

Insecurity continued…and continued again

Boyfriends being controlling! (BAD)

Follow this philosophy: the tighter you clench your fists the easier she will slip out of your hands.

Controlling behavior is an absolute no no.  She is her own women just like you are your own man.  How would you feel if your girlfriend was asking where you were constantly, getting pissed off if there was even a women in the room with you, demanding you be here or leave there.  When approaching a relationship it is always best to give them absolute freedom to do whatever it is that they want to do as long as it’s nothing big that go against your boundaries (a topic for another day).  In fact, guys that act this way will most likely end up being broken heart-ed because a healthy women (one not crazy and has some self respect) would not put up with that!  (psshh i know i wouldn’t).  So remember **** Give your women (any women in a relationship with you) absolute freedom to do whatever it is that she wants to do.******  If she messes up while under the absolute freedom approach that’s fine… think of it as cycling through the bitches and tell yourself (look in the mirror if you have to) that there is someone else better out there.  I know right? hard to believe that there are a million other women out there…not

– Aidan